When it comes to letting loose lethal fumes, it seems nothing’s as stylish these days as those swanky avant-garde “orphan” wells. Louisiana is strutting around with over 4,500 of these fashion-forward wells on its plate, and luckily, the feds are taking notice and sending some dollar bills their way. Thanks to this cash infusion, classy contractors with all the right gear have been called up to the big leagues to deal with these gas-emitting trendsetters, one well at a time. Nothing says good taste like drowning a well in concrete, after all.
Folks like Joe Tolbert and his sons couldn’t be happier to have jumped onto the well-plugging bandwagon. That’s how they found themselves in northwest Louisiana’s very own Beverly Hills, the Caddo Pine Island Oil Field, gracefully delivering the kiss of death to Well #173054. “It’s all about dedication,” said Tolbert, who happens to own Tolbert Construction in the chic neighborhood of Oil City. No one can accuse this man of not having a sense of humor, poking fun at the ups and downs of the oil industry with a road called the Boom or Bust Byway right through his town. He and his crew have transitioned from the wishy-washy world of well servicing to the more steady life of plugging leaky wells like stylish Swiss cheese.
Taking billions of greenbacks from the feds to tackle this high-maintenance issue has everyone’s eyebrows raised, and for good reason. It’s about time these not-so-hot wells get the attention they deserve, and there’s no denying it: plugging up the gaps is going to do wonders for the environment. Kiss those toxic substances like arsenic and benzene goodbye!
However, tracking down and plugging these diva wells isn’t as simple as it sounds. They’re as elusive as they are glamorous, and expensive to deal with, too. Our well-plugging heroes like the Tolbert family need an equal mix of muscle, brains, and creativity to find and fix these feisty wells. Picture trying to navigate a world filled with swamps, forests, and heavy equipment–not an easy task! But with the right combination of vision and expertise, our heroes can put an end to this gassy nightmare, one day at a time.
So, what’s the catch? Despite the substantial funding for this ambitious project, there are just so many wells to handle. Multiply the need by the large number of them, and it’s clear that we’ve only just scratched the surface (much like a sassy leopard print). So, until every last well tosses in the towel, our plugging heroes will continue their never-ending mission to end this gas leak saga once and for all.
Reminiscent of a difficult game of hide-and-seek, these mischievous orphan wells have found their way into yards, forests, and even under sidewalks and school playgrounds. Tracking down these crafty wells isn’t a walk in the park, and our friends at the EDF and McGill University can attest to that. As official orphan well detectives, they’ve uncovered over 120,000 of these sneaky wells across 30 states—although they admit that’s just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to calculating their true numbers. So, we’ll just have to take a page out of Louisiana’s well-plugging playbook until every one of these drama queens is properly silenced.
