It seems like the powers that be in New York have heard the ancient proverb, “If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em!” The New York Metropolitan Transportation Authority (MTA) appears to be considering a plan to offer commuters free subway rides! This novel idea, probably thought of by someone who was fed up with constantly swiping their MetroCard only to find it was expired, has tickled the fancy of transportation officials who are looking for ways to increase ridership on the city’s subway network.

But don’t throw away those MetroCards just yet! MTA officials haven’t found the perfect formula for brewing this magical free ride potion. It seems that the challenge isn’t just finding the right ingredients (Read: money), but also making sure the potion doesn’t turn into a love potion gone wrong (Read: transit death spiral). A death spiral sounds like a roller coaster you definitely wouldn’t want to ride, and it isn’t any more appealing in the transportation world. It would involve ridership dropping so low that revenues shrink down to nothing, causing a total network collapse. Can you imagine trying to order an Uber in that chaos?

While we wait for the MTA to unlock the secrets of free subway rides, disability advocates have a great idea. Why not make the system more accessible for people with mobility challenges? Little-known fact: An astounding 550,000 people in New York City have difficulty walking, but they’re mostly left high and dry without an accessible subway station nearby. That’s about 4% of our beloved Big Apple population, who are largely locked out of that iconic mode of transport. If we lure those magical unicorns (as well as out-of-towners with accessibility challenges) into the subway, it could boost fare revenue! But alas, upgrading the stations for accessibility might cost a few galleons (or billions of dollars, same difference).

So sit tight, subway riders, and cross your fingers for the day we all get a golden ticket to free subway adventures. In the meantime, keep swiping those MetroCards and hoping for the best. After all, a little bit of humor and hope can make even the toughest commute a little more bearable./n/n Serious news: https://www.nytimes.com/2023/04/11/realestate/spring-cleaning-tradition.html