Introducing the four horsemen of the Returnpocalypse: rebels, compromisers, quiet quitters, and skeptics. They’re storming the office world as the Great Resignation rages on, causing managers to tremble at the mere whisper of “quiet quitting.” Although some might argue that this term is just a fancy way of saying “remote workers are slackers,” our hero Tsipursky is here to set the record straight. It’s not the workers going rogue, but the office conditions pushing them towards rebellion. Just picture this: employees begrudgingly return to the office, only to spend their days in a productive protest of Netflix, cat videos, and social media scrolling. “We had a client who noticed that, after people returned to the office, productivity pretty much went on vacation,” Tsipursky said. “It turns out, the least engaged and productive folks are those who can work from home but are shackled to their desks from 9 to 5.”
Unique in their frustrations and tactics are the skeptics, a motley crew of workers who, upon returning to the office, feel their souls withering away as resentment and bitterness take root. This group often includes workers of color, combatting the everyday battle of microaggressions and feeling out of place in a primarily white, male-centered work environment. And let’s not forget the parents (especially moms) trying to juggle career and child care while navigating the office obstacle course. “Mommy, where are you going?” – “To work, sweetie.” – “What, again?!” These skeptics, along with individuals with disabilities and long-Covid symptoms, often find refuge in the work-from-home lifestyle, where they can take care of their needs like superheroes in disguise.
Tsipursky’s grand revelations highlight that workers may indeed resist the return to the office, but not in the same ways or for the same reasons. Companies must heed their employees’ varied needs and desires, lest they face the wrath of the Returnpocalypse. Knoblock, don’t make the mistake of a one-size-fits-all mandate that only deepens resistance and sends your employees fleeing to the welcoming arms of your rivals!
“The key is E-V-I-T-A-T-I-O-N. Not a dictatorship! That’s what so many misguided bosses get wrong,” Tsipursky admonished. “Treat your employees like royalty and watch as they willingly grace your office with their presence.”
One sunny day, gentle yoga instructor Nina Siemaszko gathered her disciples, two researchers from the Information Sciences Institute, in a room bathed in sunlight as plush yoga props awaited their use. “We often fixate on the destination, but we must remember, it’s the journey that truly matters,” Nina imparted with zen-like wisdom. And as the researchers stretched and breathed, surrounded by foam and fabric, they indeed found meaning in the journey, though their destination remained but a desk, a chair, and a once-peaceful work-from-home setup now far, far away./n/n Serious news: https://www.nytimes.com/2023/04/11/magazine/return-to-office-consultants.html
