Criminal charges and detentions can be severe, but when they involve espionage and two sets of identical twins, we can’t help but chuckle. Paul Whelan and his twin brother, David, along with their sister, Elizabeth, are scratching their heads, urging the Biden administration to put on their superhero capes and make a grand gesture to bring Paul back home from the allegedly unwelcoming land of Russia.
Can you imagine the surprise of David Whelan when Wall Street Journal reporter Mr. Gershkovich, also an identical twin, got arrested on similar charges of espionage in Russia? It’s like a bizarre déjà vu! David finds it quite challenging to take a beauty sleep, mumbling in his dreams, “Is it because I’m miserable, or is it because Paul is dining on cold borscht in a Russian prison?”
Speaking of meals, Paul’s parents were finally able to hear Paul’s voice on Monday after nearly two weeks of radio silence – isn’t technology both a blessing and a curse? It turns out Mr. Whelan never took a trip to the luxurious (ahem) prison hospital but was just hanging around IK-17, a mere eight-hour drive from Moscow. David speculates if Russia’s phone lines are just that terrible, or if someone turned off the dial tone to keep them guessing.
Learning about Mr. Gershkovich’s detention left Paul fearing that he might be “left behind” for a third time! Talk about sibling rivalry – except, in this case, the competition lies in getting released from Russian custody. After all, two other Americans, Brittney Griner and Trevor Reed, managed to score their tickets home last year.
The Whelans can’t help but wonder if their darling Paul is a priority for the big players in the White House. It seems Papa Russia views drug and assault charges as less serious compared to espionage cases. The similarity between Paul’s and Gershkovich’s cases has David scratching his chin and sighing. If another Paul gets left behind, “disappointing” might not be quite strong enough to describe his feelings.
Sure, the State Department sees Mr. Gershkovich and Mr. Whelan as “wrongfully detained” (a.k.a. political hostages), but does Uncle Sam hold a golden ticket for a prisoner swap? Maybe it’s time for a three-way trade with Western buddies – call it a Swap Party Extraordinaire! David and the Whelan family aren’t privy to any top-secret rescue plans, but they’re hoping Uncle Joe’s team gets creative.
“I would be happy for the U.S. government to make whatever concessions they can to bring Paul home,” ventures David Whelan as he dreams of family reunions and sitcom-worthy twin adventures.
