There once was a parent who, much to their chagrin, found themselves engrossed in a discussion about puberty blockers in the New York Times. The mom at the center of the story was named Caroline, and her dilemma revolved around the gender affirmation question.
Poor Caroline had unwittingly signed off on gender-affirming care for her teenager, which included the use of puberty blockers. But then, with a dramatic twist of fate, she wanted to withdraw her consent! Alas, her child and the child’s father (whom the teen primarily lived with) were gung-ho about continuing the treatment. And so, the tale of “Caroline vs. Puberty” began.
The tale spread far and wide, even infiltrating the realm of Twitter! An alleged teenage impersonator went online to discredit Caroline’s story, followed by a supposed Caroline hopping on Twitter to argue with her child! Drama, chaos, and journalistic integrity ensued.
In the midst of this whirlwind, a quote kept popping up time and time again. It seemed to suggest that Caroline believed her child was going through the same angsty puberty experience as she had. Would her child emerge on the other side of puberty, as happy and well-adjusted as Caroline claimed to be?
Enter the dreaded “Puberty Sucks” fallacy. This ill-spoken argument comes in various forms, but the underlying message remains the same: “Transitioning to adulthood is hard, but there’s no need to change your gender.”
With fantastical wording and lightning-fast fingers, J.K. Rowling in 2020 leaped into the debate by posting a lengthy manifesto on her website. Ms. Rowling herself felt the temptation to transition and escape womanhood – a feeling shared by many a teenager with internalized misogyny.
But of course, dissenters wouldn’t be silenced. A conservative obstetrician – who dabbles in MAGA – tweeted to his vast follower base that it was cruel to offer terrified, confused young girls the chance to halt puberty.
The “PUBERTY SUCKS” fallacy reared its ugly head, used as a powerful weapon against gender-affirming care. Despite the fact that the American Academy of Pediatrics backs such care, opponents found solace in the fallacy, clinging to the misguided belief that they know children better than the children know themselves.
Fear not, for the fallacy’s users aren’t all bad! Some truly caring adults believe that they’re offering helpful guidance based on their experience.
A story from long ago tells of a non-binary teenager and their mother, seeking to find a common ground. The mother reminisced about her refusal to wear skirts in her youth, drawing parallels with her child’s rejection of gender norms. While well-intended, the mother could not fully grasp the deeper complexities of her child’s gender identity.
Gender identity, dear friends, is not about skirts, lipstick, or football. It is not about escaping, but rather moving towards an identity that has always been there, whether acknowledged or not.
A brave teen named Elliot Morehead once uttered wise words before a council of lawmakers in South Dakota. Elliot’s fight was against a bill that sought to ban certain gender-affirming treatments. Elliot declared that being told to “grow out” of gender dysphoria was akin to being told to “just be happy” when struggling with depression.
Despite Elliot’s courage, South Dakota passed the bill. However, their heartfelt testimony serves as a reminder that the journey for transgender people isn’t about escaping the hardships of puberty, but about embracing the joy of their true selves.
