Let me tell you a story that blew up faster than social media influencers buying followers. It’s about a mom named Caroline who was opposed to her child receiving gender-affirming care, including puberty blockers. But her teenager and their father, who the teen primarily lived with, were all for it. Caroline tried to revoke her consent for the treatment, but her clinician’s decided to stick to the plan. Talk about drama!

The teen, or someone claiming to be them, went on Twitter to dispute Caroline’s account. Then Caroline decided to publicly quibble with their child on the same platform. It was like watching an episode of Jerry Springer. The media had a field day and journalistic ethics were called into question. In summary, it was a giant mess.

However, amidst all the chaos, there was one quote from Caroline that stayed with me. She talked about how traumatizing her own puberty experience was and how she wishes she could have avoided it. But, like the wise person she is, Caroline acknowledged that it’s nature and there’s a reason it happens. I couldn’t help but think of this as the Puberty Sucks fallacy.

Let me break it down for you. The Puberty Sucks fallacy is a belief held by many adults who oppose gender-affirming treatment for minors. It boils down to this: “You don’t need to transition to a different gender, you just need to transition to adulthood.” Or: “I wasn’t a trans teen, so neither are you.” Basically, these people think that puberty sucks for everyone, not just trans people, and we all just have to get through it.

J.K. Rowling herself used this fallacy when she published a long manifesto about transgender issues in 2020. She wrote that if she had been born 30 years later, she too might have tried to transition. The allure of escaping womanhood would have been huge, she added. The PUBG-loving doctor (with a MAGA tagline) tweeted a similar sentiment to his 105,000 followers recently. To paraphrase, he said that gender-affirming care is the cruelest thing you can do to a confused young girl who’s terrified of body changes, fat, body hair, acne, and other related yucky stuff.

The Puberty Sucks fallacy mainly relies on the idea that kids these days just don’t know what they want or need to feel comfortable in their skin. But there’s strong evidence that refutes this. A longitudinal study by a Princeton psychology professor found that 94 percent of participants had continued to identify as their chosen gender five years into the study. The participants began to identify as transgender between the ages of three and twelve, and the study will follow them for a total of 20 years.

But despite this evidence, the Puberty Sucks fallacy still haunts the conversation about transgender issues. It’s used to justify banning gender-affirming care, despite being recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics. In essence, this fallacy negates the experiences of trans youths and assumes that other people know who they are better than they do.

So, what’s the truth? Well, if you talk to enough transgender individuals or read their stories, you’ll find that gender identity isn’t about hating or loving skirts, lipstick, or the color pink. It’s not even about whether you like football or gymnastics. It’s about moving towards an identity that has been there for a very long time, but that society doesn’t always acknowledge or understand.

A brave transgender teen named Elliot Morehead said it best when they told South Dakota lawmakers earlier this year that they were in a body that had a few more steps to being a hundred percent them. They were opposed to a proposed bill that would prohibit certain forms of gender-affirming care and had missed a physics test to testify. Elliot said that lawmakers telling minors they would grow out of gender dysphoria was akin to telling people struggling with clinical depression to “just be happy.” Despite their confidence and optimism, South Dakota still passed the bill, which Elliot would have found devastating.

In conclusion, I think it’s time to move past the Puberty Sucks fallacy and towards a new understanding of gender identity. It’s a journey that isn’t always easy, but it’s necessary for those who are willing to take it. Like Elliot said, it’s about moving towards a joyous future, not running from a sucky puberty.