Picture this – a bunch of Ukrainian soldiers playing dodgeball in the middle of Bakhmut while being pelted with flaming tennis balls. Why, you ask? Because they’re finally withdrawing from the city, that’s why! It seems that even the most stubborn of defenders eventually realize that they can’t win a war with just their bare hands and a bag of potato chips. As they retreat, they’re being bombarded by Russian fire, which is like getting hit with a thousand wet noodles. But hey, sometimes you just have to wave the white flag and live to fight another day (or perhaps another game of dodgeball).

In other news, the International Atomic Energy Agency apparently has a beef with Ukraine’s Zaporizhzhia nuclear power plant. The agency’s chief, Rafael Grossi, is shouting from the rooftops about establishing a security perimeter around the plant. It’s like he thinks that a few “Caution: Nuclear Plant Ahead” signs are going to stop anyone from taking a casual stroll into the facility. It’s almost comical how much faith he has in the power of signs. But hey, if he wants to waste his time drawing up a perimeter plan, who are we to stop him?

Now, if you’re looking for a good laugh, you might want to check out the story of Jack Teixeira. This dude is a National Guardsman who thought it would be a good idea to leak classified Pentagon documents while playing video games. Talk about multitasking! Maybe he was hoping that his enemies would be too distracted by his mad gaming skills to notice that he’s practically handing them sensitive information on a silver platter. Unfortunately for Jack, the authorities caught wind of his little gaming escapade and now he’s got a court date. Good luck explaining that one to the judge, Jack.

But let’s get back to the serious stuff – like the fact that Bakhmut is basically a pile of rubble. Ukraine has been holding on to the city with all its might, but even a blind man can see that it’s a lost cause. Of course, no one wants to admit defeat, so they’ve been duking it out with the Russians for months. Spoiler alert: nobody wins in a war of attrition (except for maybe the arm dealers selling weapons to both sides). Maybe next time, the Ukrainians will consider using some actual tactics instead of relying on sheer stubbornness.

Serious News: cnbc