Breaking News: Man Charged With Murder – Should Have Stuck to Rock-Paper-Scissors Just to Be Safe
In an unusual turn of events, a man has been charged with first-degree murder and has been ordered held without bail after a court hearing Monday. All because he couldn’t resolve a simple dispute with a game of rock-paper-scissors (or even a game of Candy Crush).
According to sources, the accused, whose name is John Curtis, had a minor disagreement with another man named Amontae Robert Cunningham, which led to the fatal stabbing of Cunningham. It’s like the age-old saying goes, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will make me pull out my knife and stab you repeatedly.”
Curtis is currently being represented by the public defender’s office. While the spokesman for the public defender’s office refused to comment on Tuesday, we at least hope they cracked a joke to lighten the mood.
Apparently, the dispute arose when both men boarded the C2 bus. They began to argue, and things escalated when Curtis took out a knife. But the driver did attempt to interject and calm things temporarily – bless his heart, he tried.
The argument continued, and the driver stopped the bus in the middle of the road (awkward). Cunningham then exited the bus, but Curtis had other plans – ones that involved a sharp object that people usually use to cut their food.
According to police, Curtis followed Cunningham outside and fatally stabbed him before running away. The victim was taken to the hospital, where he was pronounced dead. That escalated quickly.
The charging documents don’t reveal what the argument entailed, but we’re all dying to know. Did they argue about politics? Soccer? Pineapple on pizza? We need answers!
At this point, we’re not sure if the two individuals knew each other beforehand or if this was a random encounter that turned fatal. On a positive note, it sure gives “stranger danger” a whole new meaning!
In summary, if you ever find yourself in a heated argument, put down the knife and pick up a game of rock-paper-scissors instead. It’s safer, and you might even win a prize.
Serious News: washingtonpost
