Strap on your seatbelts folks, because we have some wild news. A California Democrat who has been chillin’ since February because of an infection has left the Senate Democrats in a pickle. They can’t move forward with their judicial nominations and it’s driving them insane. It’s like when you want to binge-watch a show on Netflix but your annoying sibling took the remote and is watching something you have zero interest in.
It’s been a few months since she fled the scene, and it’s becoming crystal clear that she ain’t coming back anytime soon. Senate Democrats are getting antsy. Imagine trying to do a group project but that one person is sick and won’t reply to your messages. Finally, two House Democrats publicly voiced their opinion and called for her to dip out of the Senate. Will she step down though? Not a chance, folks.
Oh, but don’t fret – she has a backup plan. The suspense is killing you, isn’t it? Brace yourselves, she will request a temporary replacement on the panel. Wow, what an idea, why didn’t we think of that sooner? I mean, sure, this might delay some important work being done, but hey, she’s got the solution! It’s like when your teacher assigns a group project and you’re freaking out because you’re absent, but your friend helps carry the team for you.
Ms. Feinstein released a statement that said, “I understand that my absence could delay the important work of the Judiciary Committee.” No duh, Sherlock. It’s been several months, and you think it might be a tad inconvenient? But wait, there’s more. She asked the Leader, Schumer (not Amy, folks), to let another Democratic senator step in temporarily until Ms. Feinstein can resume her committee work. It’s like when you’re sick and your friend offers to cover your shift until you’re better.
Well, dear reader, there you have it. The Senator isn’t stepping down, but she has come up with an ingenious, well, mediocre plan. Hopefully, this will alleviate some of the frustration, but only time will tell. So, let’s all kick back, grab some popcorn, and see what happens. Who knows, maybe we’ll get a dramatic twist.
Feinstein, After Friendly Nudge, Requests Permission to Tiptoe Away From Judiciary Panel
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