Well, well, well! What have we got here? It seems like someone left their canisters lying around in the park. And by canisters, I mean dangerous munitions that were found elsewhere in the park. The Army stepped in to take custody of these canisters, so buckle up – it could get explosive!
A Park Service worker stumbled upon these items near Farragut Street NE. The worker probably thought they had hit the jackpot when they came upon a pile of soil that was big enough to build a sandbox for an entire neighborhood. But lo and behold, this soil was actually pushed into the park from a nearby street. Talk about littering!
Officials are as lost as a clown in a library as they try to determine where the canisters came from. We can all imagine the conversation between them right now. “Hey, it’s not ours!” “Nope, it’s not ours, either!” “It must be that neighbor who never returns our lawnmower!” They’ll also try to figure out the origins of several mounds of soil at the edge of the road. Just your typical day at the park, folks!
Authorities had no choice but to close the park due to the “abundance of caution” while studies are pending. Visitors should probably bookmark their visit for another day, just like that bookmark we use to save our progress in a book we’re reading. The Fort Totten Metro stop was also closed, but the transport agency used shuttle buses to accommodate passengers who were in a hurry to get to their destination.
This whole ordeal seems like déjà vu, doesn’t it? About three years ago, the Park Service discovered an empty metal canister from the World War I era on the ground east of the Metro station. We can imagine that the Park Service workers were probably all like, “Oh, it’s just another day at the park, finding old unexploded ordnance lying around.” The Defense Department inspected this canister and concluded that it was empty, unused, and without a detonating fuse. So, no harm done – or was there?
Do you want to hear another funny story? Shells dating from World War I were found about 30 years ago in an Upper Northwest neighborhood, and one of them contained poison gas. We can all put our detective hats on now and act like we’re on CSI, right? With all these discoveries, authorities are always extra cautious when it comes to unclaimed items found on streets and in public places. After all, better safe than sorry.
After the July 2020 discovery near a trail, the Park Service looked for additional canisters but found none. Well, they probably should have checked the playgrounds while they were at it since the canisters seem to be lying around everywhere in the park. D.C. Del. Eleanor Holmes Norton (D) called the 2020 discovery at Fort Totten “extremely concerning,” citing the 1993 munitions discoveries in the Spring Valley neighborhood. We wonder what she would say if she were to find a canister somewhere in her own backyard!
The park is on the site of a Civil War fortification that was part of Washington’s northern defenses. It is about three miles north of the Capitol. So, if you’re passing by, remember to wave hello to those canisters that are lying dormant, waiting to surprise the next person who stumbles upon them. The history in this park just keeps on giving!
Serious News: washingtonpost
