Once upon a warm Indianapolis night, the NFL hootenanny hit the town, with league brass gossiping over their Old Fashioneds about some right controversial report cards. The NFL Players Association had boldly told it like it is with the release of its first-ever player survey, and y’all can bet those results sent tongues a-waggin’ like a hound dog’s tail.
With 1,300 gallant gridiron warriors ranking and cussin’ their teams in eight categories (including everything from family affairs to travelin’ arrangements and club house banter), there was muck to rake if you were a football coach or boss. But dang it, some of these highly-paid fellers were none too happy about how their teams had been talkin’ outta school.
A sharp-eyed scout put his peepers on Arizona for all to see, the second worst-out-of-the-lot. I tell you, if you coulda seen them F-minuses flying thick and fast, it woulda looked like a dang alphabet parade.
Now, some say it’s the best thing since sliced bread that the NFLPA has exposed the sins of assorted team owners and got everyone a-yappin’. A colorful cornucopia of opinions and exclamations have been flying higher than a Hail Mary from Patrick Mahomes. But there are some sure-enough skeptics who reckon it might have been a bit of a clumsily-led giddyup from the NFLPA.
George Atallah, NFLPA’s big kahuna of external affairs, said surveying the players had been in the works for a while. So these hootin’ and hollerin’ big shots shouldn’t necessarily be surprised.
Boy howdy, the results came out, and would you believe their blushes? All kindsa things were coming out, like babies having to nurse on the floor in Cincinnati locker rooms and poor players packin’ their own grub. There were some fresh revelations about scrimping and saving NFL owners like ol’ Dan Snyder, Michael Bidwell, and Art Rooney too.
Folks like former NFLPA president Eric Winston helped shape the survey, and now it might happen every dang year. Honest as the day is long, President J.C. Tretter just wants players to have a realistic idea of what they’ll be getting into when joining a new team.
For reaction on the shocking results, it’s better to ask the players, says Raiders owner Mark Davis, while Texans owner Cal McNair ain’t seen hide nor hair of his team’s report card. Then there’s Dallas Cowboys COO Stephen “Bits and Pieces” Jones, who was expecting a gold star for his team.
With so much attention on the report cards, other initiatives are already beginning to bear fruit. A Falcons spokesperson informed folks of their post-survey improvements. Meanwhile, Texans owner McNair plans to make a clean getaway.
Well, thanks to these here report cards, many an owner is now more concerned about their facilities than a cat in a room full of rockin’ chairs. But as ol’ Tretter put it, it’s all about getting the best information to help players make decisions. And if shining a light on these issues helps improve things, well, that’s just plumb perfect, ain’t it?
