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Democrats Party Like It’s 1999, Boasting Two-Vote Senate Majority on 30% of Raging Vote-a-paloozas

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Oh boy, do I have news for you! Remember the good old days when Democrats took control of the Senate? They thought they’d be able to hold onto their majority all year long, just chilling on their luxury Senate yacht, casting decisive votes and lounging in the sun. The reality? Not so much.

So far this year, the Senate has had 82 glorious votes. You’d think the Dems would have had their precious majority most of the time, right? WRONG. They only had that sweet, sweet advantage 30 percent of the time. And why is that? Well, let me tell you, my friend. Sen. John Fetterman (D-Pa.) and Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-Calif.) have been playing hooky with their health issues, and only 26 of the 51 Democratic crew members have made it to every vote. How’s that for “majority”?

But wait! There’s more! Turns out, those pesky Republicans have missed several chances to hit the voting buzzer too. In fact, no vote has seen all senators present and accounted for this year. I mean, come on guys, we’re all adults here. Where’s the commitment?

Now, don’t get me wrong – sometimes it’s just one senator missing out on the vote-a-palooza. Take Sen. Robert P. Casey Jr. (D-Pa.), for example. The poor chap had surgery for prostate cancer and had to miss a few votes in February. He’s just one of 11 no-shows who has missed at least 10 votes.

And who’s the top truant of them all? None other than Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.), who, after a fall, spent some quality time in the hospital and rehab.

So, what does all of this mean? In 70 percent of the votes, the Democratic caucus saw its advantage shrink to less than two votes, and in nearly half the votes, their numbers were matched by the GOP or even outnumbered. Talk about a bummer.

But, fear not, for there is some light at the end of this chaotic tunnel. With Fetterman and McConnell recovering from their health issues, there’s a possibility we might see a full Senate in session after their so-called “state work period” (aka, vacation). Though don’t hold your breath, it’s been eight months since we last saw them all together, and you know what they say: absence makes the heart grow fonder… of not being in Senate sessions.

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