In a tournament, the Timberwolves may be an NBA team, but they’re also like any other workplace – with employees who can’t stand their most annoying co-worker. In the office, you might have the dreaded project manager who schedules endless meetings, or the loud-talking cubicle neighbor. For the Wolves, the colleague voted least likely to win Employee of the Month is towering 7-foot-1 center Rudy Gobert. They seem to really dislike him, treating him as if he’s the guy who hoards all the best slices of pizza during office parties.
But things really heated up when the Wolves had a team huddle, in which Gobert and Kyle Anderson got into an animated exchange – who knows, maybe it was about pie charts or PowerPoint colors. Anderson told Gobert to “shut the [expletive] up,” and Gobert didn’t care about being reprimanded by HR, so he threw a punch in response. It’s quite clear they never had one of those “team building” exercises.
What’s funny is that Rudy Gobert actually seems like an endearing guy – he has a cool accent, dabbles in beekeeping, loves his mom, and is fantastic at his job. Wouldn’t most people want to share a coffee break with someone like him? But the Timberwolves just can’t seem to get past their grievances – they don’t like how he calls them out in public, his perceived lack of a strong work ethic, and they’ll never forget that he effectively started the work-from-home period in 2020 due to his positive coronavirus test.
Even the basketball players’ union, the Fraternal Order of Tall People in Shorts, can’t seem to back Gobert up. They snicker behind his back, mocking him for his Frenchness and Pokémon nostalgia. They don’t invite him to the team’s happy hour gatherings.
The weird thing about sports is that these athletes actually do work together – as a real team. They bond over grueling workouts and long road trips. Co-workers, unfortunately, don’t have that same connection. The Timberwolves, despite being a talented team, have lagged behind this season, playing as if they’re racing to beat rush hour traffic.
As they head into the play-ins as the eighth seed, the Wolves will need Gobert’s paint-protecting prowess. He may not be the office favorite, but his colleagues certainly need his skills on the court. When he returns, the players will likely spout the usual company lines about teamwork, synergy, and out-of-the-box thinking. But we know Gobert won’t be invited to their secret Slack channel, where they gossip about the boss and the unbearable return-to-office policies. Workplace drama, am I right?
