HomeOpinionsSnail Mail Chronicles | April 15th 2023 Hilarity Edition

Snail Mail Chronicles | April 15th 2023 Hilarity Edition

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China and Ukraine

Oh boy, here we go again. Looks like China is in hot water for supporting Russia’s illegal war in Ukraine. Apparently, they also violated the China-Ukraine Treaty of Friendship and Co-operation by not helping Ukraine defend itself, which they promised to do in 2013. This treaty acknowledged that there is only one China and that the People’s Republic of China is the only legal government representing China. In return, China supported efforts to protect the territorial integrity of Ukraine. But now they’re in breach of the treaty, which means trouble, trouble, trouble.

China’s violation of this treaty is like starting a snowball that turns into an avalanche of geopolitical chaos. Western democracies, don’t be fooled by China’s implicit ambition to cultivate a weak Russia. President Xi Jinping apparently told Vladimir Putin that they’re driving a change that hasn’t happened in 100 years. Who does he think he is, Captain America? Excuse me, Mr. Xi, but if you and Russia succeed, we might go back to the time before both world wars and the destruction of institutions that helped fight against extreme state aggression since 1945. Not cool, bro.

So, it’s time to remind President Xi of China’s responsibilities and obligations under the China-Ukraine Treaty, and let him know that the West is not going to stand down. There’s no need to be aggressive, just speak softly and carry a big stick like Teddy Roosevelt used to say.

Censoring “Animal Farm”

We loved reading Bagehot’s article on self-censorship in British publishing, especially the part about Roald Dahl’s books being edited for sensitivity. That made us laugh harder than a pig in mud. But let’s not forget that censorship has been happening for a long time. Take the story of George Orwell’s anti-Soviet masterpiece, “Animal Farm”, for example. Many publishers rejected it back then because they were afraid of giving offense. But here’s the kicker, one publisher rejected the manuscript on the advice of Peter Smollett, who worked for the British Ministry of Information. Turns out, he was a Soviet agent! Classic Orwellian twist, don’t you think?

Science and Religion

We read Nicholas Spencer’s article on science and religion, and we gotta say it’s pretty interesting. We don’t think science and religion are always in conflict, but there are exceptions. Joshua Greene, Jonathan Cohen, and others did this cool experiment using functional MRI that showed how our sense of right and wrong depends on particular circumstances. They used the “runaway trolley” dilemma, which is when you have to choose between sacrificing one person to save many others. The results were hilarious. Volunteers gave contradictory answers depending on the context. If asked about killing a few repairmen to save a larger number of passengers, they said yes. But if asked about pushing one obese person onto the track to save the many, they said no. The MRI scans showed only the second scenario activated brain centers involved in emotions and moral choices. In other words, our sense of morality is more complicated than we thought.

Pierre Teilhard de Chardin was a scientist and a Jesuit who used scientific theories, like the Big Bang and evolution, to show how they could lead to the existence of God and another world for humanity. Pretty smart cookie, that guy. But the Catholic church thought he was a heretic and only published some of his writings after he died in 1955. Not cool, bro.

Subversive Creativity

We read your leader on the future of video games and let out a sigh. Seriously? The corporate push to consolidate and moderate content is just going to ruin all the fun of video games. Video games used to be an escape for Western youth, but now it’s just an excuse for little Johnny and Uncle Jimmy to play games that their parents approve of. Do they not remember how much fun “Grand Theft Auto” was? It was the ultimate sign of teen rebellion! But now that older generations have been sucked into video gaming, their rebellious nature will suffer because video-game developers will have to pander to all generations. Ugh, this is just depressing.

Barbie Girls and Boys

We loved Schumpeter’s article on Barbie. No, seriously, we did. We can’t wait for the movie to come out. Move over, Christopher Nolan’s “Oppenheimer”, there’s a new sheriff in town, and her name is Barbie. Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling playing with toy dolls is going to be the most exciting thing to happen to cinema since the invention of the popcorn machine.

It’s No Small Thing

As a man standing five feet and five inches, we can attest that height plays a significant part in a man’s ability to find dates and partners. It’s not easy being short, but it’s not impossible either. After all, we’re living, breathing proof!

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