Here is the revised article:

Breaking news! Inflation rates rose to a whooping 5.7% in March, up from February’s 5.6%. It seems like price hikes are everywhere these days. Can’t a guy buy a loaf of bread without selling his soul?

Wait, hold on to your wallets, folks, because there’s some good news too. Headline inflation – yes, that’s the (ahem) “big picture” measure of the cost of living – fell to an annual rate of 6.9% last month. Phew! Thank goodness for small favours!

Oh, but wait, there’s more! According to Finnish central bank governor, Olli Rehn (who sounds like he should be in Abba or something), this drop in headline inflation is masking a more insidious issue – core inflation. Dun, dun, DUNNN. “I’m concerned about underlying inflation,” he told CNBC. We know, Olli, we know. We’re all feeling the pinch.

So, what’s the European Central Bank (ECB) doing about all this? Well, they’ve raised interest rates by 50 basis points at each of their last six meetings. Wow, someone’s trigger-happy! But, wait a minute, according to Rehn, it hasn’t made much of a difference. Oops, guess that’s not money well spent!

Serious News: cnbc