Are you ready for some court drama, folks? Well, when it comes to the Supreme Court, it seems like the only drama we get to see is their acceptance of benefits from the nation’s wealthy. This sends a clear message to ordinary Americans: if you don’t have that zingy moolah, you’re going to have a damn hard time getting anywhere with our top judges.

And listen here, it’s not just a message they’re sending. Oh no, it’s an invitation! That’s right, a ticket to the Supreme Court Historical Society’s annual black-tie dinner only requires a minimum payment of $5,000. And what does that get you? The chance to rub shoulders with the highest judges in the land, of course!

Did we mention that at least $6.4 million of the society’s funds were raised by corporations, special interest groups or lawyers with business before the court? You know, just in case you were wondering who’s really calling the shots around here.

So, let’s break this down, shall we? You don’t have a fortune? Tough luck buddy, our judges aren’t taking any meetings with peasants. But if you can pull out that wallet and cough up some serious dough, they’ll roll out the red carpet for you. And don’t worry about where that money comes from, we’ve got some big-shot corporations and special interest groups handling that bit for you.

In conclusion, it seems like the Supreme Court is the new Hollywood; pay up or be left out in the cold. And for our final joke of the day, we’ll leave you with this: why did the Supreme Court judge cross the road? To get to that fancy dinner on the other side, of course!

Serious News: nytimes