Are you tired of Aunt Edna’s portrait collecting dust in your basement? Well, it’s time to give her a new home! But where to start? Why not take a little dive into your family tree on Ancestry.com, MyHeritage.com, Findmypast.com, Geneanet.com or FamilySearch.org? It’s like a virtual scavenger hunt for distant relatives who might actually want Aunt Edna hanging on their wall. And it’s free if you have a library card, which let’s be honest, who doesn’t?

If you strike genealogical gold, all you have to do is send a message asking if they want a free portrait of their beloved Aunt Edna. What could go wrong? Maybe they’ll even send you a fruit basket or a knock-off “World’s Best Aunt” mug in return. It’s a win-win situation.

But wait, there’s more! Have you heard of the Buy Nothing Project? Yeah, yeah, it’s a socially conscious movement, but let’s be real, it’s just another excuse to declutter and hoard more stuff. So why not join the movement and give Aunt Edna a second chance at life? She might just be the centerpiece for a hip new decor trend called Grandmillennial that you’ve never heard of, but your cousin’s roommate’s girlfriend has, and she’s dying to give it a go.

If you’re not keen on spontaneity, you can always take a page out of Melanie Donohue’s book and be a true oddball. She collects portraits of total strangers, and you know what? We’re not here to judge. Maybe your Aunt Edna would have a new best friend in Melanie’s collection. But if you don’t want Aunt Edna judging you from the afterlife for giving her away to a stranger, consider donating her to an art restoration school. That way, not only will you be getting rid of Aunt Edna, but you’ll also be helping someone else learn how to paint. It’s a win-win-win!

Feeling generous and looking for a good cause? Look no further than your local community theater. They are always in desperate need of set dressing, and Aunt Edna might just be the perfect addition to their production of “Hamilton.” Just make sure to document the painting’s history on the back of the frame in case it goes up in flames. And if your painting does go up in flames, you can always blame it on a disgruntled actor who didn’t get the role they wanted.

Lastly, if all else fails, just turn Aunt Edna into a mirror. Who doesn’t love looking at themselves? And think about it, one day Aunt Edna might just be worth big bucks again, and the next Oscar Wilde could base an entire novel on her. “The Mirror of Dorian Gray” anyone?

So there you have it folks, six foolproof ways to get rid of Aunt Edna once and for all. And who knows, maybe one day you’ll get your hands on a portrait of Elvis, and you’ll be the one scouring the internet for distant relatives. The circle of life…or in this case, the circle of portraits.

Serious News: washingtonpost