Are you tired of constantly monitoring your 12-year-old son’s homework? Does it feel like you’re running a daycare instead of raising a child? Well, my dear friend, you are not alone. You and hundreds of other parents are in the same boat. But instead of asking how to handle your son, may I suggest you start supporting him instead? Because let’s face it, humans are not fond of being “handled,” and that includes 12-year-old boys.

I understand your pain, dear parent. You didn’t sign up for this unsustainable homework situation. But before you drown in a sea of power struggles, whining, and exasperation, let’s take a closer look at the situation. Your son’s distractedness may look like a classic case of attention-deficit, but it could be anxiety, a learning disability, trauma, or grief. So, it’s time to sit down with his teachers and get an accurate picture of who your son is in the school setting.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Oh great, more meetings!” But trust me, this is essential. First, let the teachers know about the struggles at home and ask them what they see at school. Second, ask for a reprieve from most to all homework because whatever the homework is meant to do is not happening at home. And third, bring your son into the meetings with his teachers. He may be struggling, but he’s old enough to have a voice and opinions.

After talking with his teachers, you’ll have a better understanding of the situation. Maybe your son needs a tutor, a coach, or a testing to assess his learning style and emotional needs. Maybe he needs more screen time, fewer activities, or more sleep. The possibilities are endless, but the most important partner when it comes to solving this issue is your son.

I know it’s hard to trust that your son is capable of being an agent of change in his own life, but any decisions must include him. You’re not just trying to get him to do his homework; you’re trying to help him mature to his fullest potential. And that requires repair of your relationship with your son and let him find joy in learning again. So, get your own support team together and start now! Good luck, dear parent.

Serious News: washingtonpost