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Brace Yourselves, The Recession is Coming – And Stocks Aren’t Laughing, Warns Strategist

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Brace yourselves, fellow earthlings, for we may be in for a bumpy ride. Word on the street is that a hard landing could be in the cards for us. According to one expert (who probably spends her free time watching conspiracy theory videos), a crash landing is still a possibility.

But hey, let’s not panic just yet. We can take comfort in the fact that this expert used the phrase “within the realm of possibilities.” So, you know, it’s not a done deal. It’s just a slight chance that we might all be hurtling towards the ground at breakneck speed.

In all seriousness (or at least, the kind of seriousness that involves a chuckle or two), it’s worth considering what might cause such a calamity. Perhaps a giant asteroid is hurtling towards us, or maybe Godzilla has decided to make Earth his new stomping ground. But let’s not rule out the possibility of a mischievous alien race playing a cosmic game of bowling with our planet.

Whatever the cause, we can only hope that we have a team of Bruce Willises and Ben Afflecks ready to save the day. After all, if Hollywood has taught us anything, it’s that a ragtag group of misfits can always come together and save the world from certain doom.

But if all else fails, we can always look on the bright side. Maybe we’ll be the first humans to make contact with extraterrestrial life. And who knows, maybe they’ll be friendly and show us how to travel through space at faster-than-light speeds. Or maybe they’ll just want to use us as a food source. Either way, it’ll be an adventure.

So, as we wait to see what fate has in store for us, let’s just remember to keep a sense of humor about the whole thing. After all, laughing in the face of danger is the human way. That, and watching cat videos on YouTube.

Serious News: cnbc

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