Well, well, well, here we go again. Another day, another political assassination in Myanmar. This time it was a retired lieutenant colonel by the name of Sai Kyaw Thu who was mercilessly gunned down by a rebel group. And why, you may ask? According to the group, Mr. Thu was complicit in “oppressing and terrorizing” the public. Excuse me while I roll my eyes so hard they get stuck in the back of my head.

It’s worth noting that Mr. Thu was on his way to drop off his wife, a doctor, at the hospital when the attack occurred. Talk about being in the wrong place at the wrong time. But wait, it gets even better. The group responsible for the killing calls themselves “For the Yangon.” Seriously? That’s the best name they could come up with? Might as well call themselves “For the Lulz” or “For the Sh*ts and Giggles.”

Here’s the kicker though. According to a spokesman for the group, who goes by the name of Sky (for fear of retaliation, naturally), Mr. Thu was targeted because he testified against Aung San Suu Kyi and U Win Myint last year. You remember them, right? The ousted civilian leader and president who were convicted of election fraud and sentenced to three years in prison. I mean, really, who hasn’t testified against those two at this point?

Some security camera footage caught the whole attack on tape, and believe me, it’s quite the action sequence. Two guys on one bicycle ride up, jump off, and start firing their handguns at Mr. Thu’s SUV. The car runs over the bike, and then speeds off into the distance. It’s like a scene straight out of an 80s action movie, only with less muscle and more foolishness.

So there you have it folks, another day, another political assassination in Myanmar. But hey, at least these rebel groups are keeping things interesting, right? Who needs a good old fashioned revolution when you can just ride around on bicycles and shoot at passing cars? Truly, the future is now.

Serious News: nytimes