Well, well, well if it isn’t Professor Smarty Pants from Rutgers University, with his fancy degree in 16th- and 17th-century Britain. Apparently, he’s got something to say about the monarchy. He thinks it’s time for Britain to take a good, hard look at itself in the mirror. And if you ask him, relying on the monarchy as a symbol of national identity is nothing but lazy. Ooh, burn!

Now, hold on just a minute there, Professor. You can’t say that the monarchy isn’t an integral part of British identity. I mean, sure, I can’t quite put my finger on why that is, but it just feels right, you know? It’s like having a cuppa tea or a Sunday roast – it’s just…British. So, while I appreciate your expertise in all things 16th- and 17th-century, maybe you should leave the national identity stuff to the Brits themselves.

But let’s give the professor the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he’s onto something here. Maybe we don’t need the monarchy to show the world who we are. We could always use something else. How about…our love of queuing? Or our obsession with the weather? No, no, I’ve got it – we’ll just get One Direction to be our new national symbol. Simple, yet effective. Who needs a royal family when you’ve got Harry Styles?

Okay, okay, let’s not get too carried away here. The professor does have a point – relying on the monarchy to define our national identity is kinda lazy. But is it really that big of a problem? I mean, it’s not like we’re twiddling our thumbs, waiting for the Queen to wave at us before we do anything productive. We’ve got plenty of other things going for us, like our thriving arts scene, our diverse cuisine, and…well, I’m sure there’s something else.

All I’m saying is, let’s not throw the baby out with the bathwater here. Yes, we could probably use a bit more introspection as a nation. But let’s not forget the things that make us uniquely British – whether that’s the monarchy, Marmite, or Morris dancing. Let’s just embrace it all, warts and all. And who knows, maybe we’ll come up with a new national symbol that’s even better than the monarchy. (But seriously, good luck with that.)

Serious News: nytimes