Well, well, well! Would you look at that? It’s been a whopping 52 years since the United States government decided to lower the voting age to 18. That’s right! We can now trust adults who can’t legally drink to make major decisions for the entire country. What could go wrong, right? And don’t even get us started on the fact that it’s been 64 years since the country has seen the likes of a new state. Alaska and Hawaii, we’re talking about you! What’s the hold-up? Is America a members-only club now? And why stop there? Why not add a few more states and make things spicier? Are we scared of a little change, America?

But that’s not all, folks! We’re in the midst of a long-standing constitutional stasis, and it’s been going on for over 50 years. Even with significant shifts in our population and major generational waves, we haven’t done squat to update our national charter. Talk about being stuck in the past, am I right? We’re like a grandma who refuses to get rid of her corded phone and still has a collection of tapes instead of CDs. And so what if we’re unaccustomed to seeking formal constitutional changes? Who needs change, anyway? Long live the status quo, baby!

And let’s not forget that our stale political system isn’t doing us any favors. The two parties are neck and neck, constantly fighting over every little thing. No one has been able to dominate, and no one is likely to do so anytime soon. It’s like watching a never-ending tennis match with no victor in sight! It’s not like we have to worry about losing our minds while we wait for one party to take charge, right? Right.

All in all, folks, it seems like we’re okay with being stuck in a never-ending constitutional slump. We’re too scared to try something new, and we’re content with a lackluster political system. What could go wrong? We’ll just sit, spin, and hope for a miracle. Sometimes, you gotta wonder if the founding fathers would be proud.

Serious News: nytimes